The Million Dollar Question

Where am I? Who am I?
How did I come to be here?
What is this thing called the world?
How did I come into the world?
Why was I not consulted?
And If I am compelled to take part in it,
Where is the director?
I want to see him.
                                                  -Soren Kierkegaard

Sitting in the class, listening to the lecturers has very few merits but listening to the insightful questions that come up now and then. I have to give the credit to those who can do it, those who can ask the right question.

I, for myself, don’t have this amazing quality of asking remarkable questions (like most of us). You can always tell whether someone is clever by their answers but to know about wisdom, you will have to go by their questions. Normally, it’s not the answer that amuses me but the question. I don’t care how it’s answered, but the right question asked in the right way often points to its own answer and untangles a labyrinth of thoughts inside you that won’t ask for answers immediately.

At the same time, every question does not deserve an answer. You must have faced several interviews. The questions I fall silent upon every time are “why should we take you” or “where do you see yourself five years from now”. I mean what on earth should one answer apart from bragging oneself in front of the interviewer. But then, that’s the catch there.
Coming back to Questions, I recently encountered the most touted question ever: “I like someone who doesn't know I like her. How can I tell her?" I don’t know what made him think I would be eligible to answer that but then as I said the question is more important than the answer. I asked him to tell her the same thing, ask her the same question. Ask her how she would like to be told you love her. I still have to know whether that helped (Since he was bewildered and gutless at the same time, I doubt he ever asked).

So that’s where I leave things. It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. Before doing anything, if you are sure why you are doing it and what is going to motivate you, the job is half done. Keep asking questions, that the only thing that will keep you from complacency.

Matter of life and death

Someday I'll be a weather-beaten skull resting on a grass pillow,
Serenaded by a stray bird or two.
Kings and commoners end up the same,
No more enduring than last night's dream.

I am pretty sure death is not something you think about everyday(even butterflies don't', but that's different)Neither I want you to, but it surely deserves to be peeped in once  in a while. Its can very simply be put in the words of Leonardo da Vinci “As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death”. Now whether it is “happy” or not depends on lot of things. But if you look it from a different angle, everyone is immortal in his reference as he  may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is in fact dead.

Anyway, there is so much suffering (read dying) around that does it really matter which one of them is death?  If you really look inside people, they don’t fear death but the fear of its strike. The moment is what they try to defy, everything after that is incognito.

There is certainly a life after death (No! I am not talking about mummies). Albert Einstein professed that our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation.  For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.  There are three facets to this whole phenomenon. The first is obviously the historic one where Egyptians believed that people live a second life after death and they mummified bodies and kept belongings the deceased might need later. The second one is religious where people believe in the concept of “Moksha” and the theory of heaven and hell which we undergo depending on our “Karma” while we were alive. The third and the most practical facet is..well lets put it this way, do you think Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln  or for that matter Einstein really dead? No they are not, they will live till eternity because of the unparalleled impact they have on us.

So you see, death may be the greatest of all human blessings because it’s the only way to live forever. You can be, after death, what you can never be when you are alive. In the cycle of pouring life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled, lays the salient truth that we control what will happen after we die and instead of fearing the same we can build the path after the dead-end.

I knew a man who once said, "Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back."  -From the movie Gladiator

Bottom Of Pyramid

In economics, the bottom of the pyramid (BOP) is the largest, but poorest socio-economic group. In global terms, this is the three billion people who live on less than $2.50 per day. But there also lies an interesting version of BOP in management hierarchy of the institutes/organizations out there striving to make a mark. By management, I mean people who are responsible for decision making and corporate governance.

Management in all business and human organization activity is simply the act of getting people together to accomplish desired goals and objectives. The definition makes it look like a cakewalk but it’s easier said than done. Of all the animals, men are the most unmanageable; nevertheless, the BOP phenomenon I wish to explain here is the outcome of faulty and myopic decision of back seat drivers upon those in front.

According to famous advertising executive late David Ogilvy, “In the modern world of business, it is useless to be a creative original thinker unless you can also sell what you create. Management cannot be expected to recognize a good idea unless it is presented to them by a good salesman.” That means to be able to monetize your innovative ideas, you need a manager. Also for the seamless, frictionless and progressive functioning of the organizational machinery, Management is a must. But Management must manage and not create layers of isolation. Peter Drucker, famous American Educator said that “Management by objective works - if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't.”

That’s the bone of contention I am talking about. The loss of foresight, lack of clear objective and the fear of unknown. Together, they create a sense of complacency in the top management and when the time to act comes, the most you can expect is a restructuring, new process methodologies and heightened but short-lived motivation. The problem, however, still continues to grow as the root was not acknowledged but only the stems were pruned. The top management will hope for the best with their new projections but at the grass root level, what happens to those who have to physically act? Alas! Nobody cares!

Time for one more quote by Warren Buffett : “When a management team with a reputation for brilliance tackles a business with a reputation for bad economics, it is the reputation of the business that remains intact.” The failure should not be confused with destiny. Poor management is the only evil. That management is best which manages least, and in the end, when everyone is ready for it, that management is best which manages not at all.

Hole Heartedly

"I ne'er can love another
As long as life may stand.
No maid the wide world over
Shall hold this heart or hand. "

It’s rightly said that Heart is the only broken instrument that works. Or is it that the Heart was made to be broken? Its strange how common are Heartbreaks and Heartbreakers. And more so the fact that it’s called “Heartbreak”, let me tell you when it hits, all the parts of your body break equally.

Where it used to be him/her, there is now a void. Time can try and heal it but it may also end up giving you even more time to miss the same. Wounds are healed, they turn in to scars. Scars are good, it means the wounds are healed but it’s the invisible wounds that are the most difficult to heal, invisible tears are most difficult to wipe.  As the famous  American rock band in 70s 'Toto' featured the hit song “As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you”.

When I was a child, the thing I feared most was skinned knees. Boy! Did it hurt? Well, few things are even more painful. But in a way, these wounds also turn you wiser. You eventually learn to let go. You learn that it was not your weakness to give up but your strength to let go. May be it’s too saintly a way to put it but that’s the way it is.

It certainly seems to be the end of the world but actually it’s just the end of a dream which unfortunately turned out to be nightmare. What do you do when you just had a nightmare? You wake up and realize you still have everything in place. You gather yourself to face the usual music. Do the same thing when you are heartbroken. Gather all the pieces; just make sure you have all the pieces with you.

A word to the wise

On the list of virtues one would love to have, wisdom should certainly top the chart. What is more enticing than to be called wise, to be able to dissect issues and find solutions, to anticipate troubles and be proactive and above all to comprehensively understand human psyche.

The path to wisdom is not as attractive as wisdom itself. Even if I am nowhere near it, I can certainly say why I am still a peeping Tom to this phenomenon. Till the time we concentrate on knowing others and search for mere things around us, the most we can be is Intelligent. But that is equally far from wisdom, the trick is probably to know ourselves first. As Carrie Latet mentioned “Wisdom is never on the menu, you have to own the restaurant”.

There is one more truth attached to this whole theory and it is the fact that even if you are wise, you will not be wise all the time. At times you will act like a damn fool; you only have to limit those instances. Even if that’s the case, wisdom outweighs wealth, status and power. So any means required in achieving it wouldn’t be uncalled for. In his Metaphysics, Aristotle defines wisdom as knowledge of causes: why things exist in a particular fashion.

Let’s formulate a strategy to be wise. The first thing is perhaps to know the inflexible truth that no one is wise by chance (read god gifts). It only comes after a series of slip-ups (read experiences). So the first step in the direction is to dare to be a fool and then learn ahead. The second step is to listen frequently and suppressing an urge to talk all the time. Believe me, people around us are smart enough, not dumb as many assume. The third stair is the principle of equanimity. It means to be composed in grief and happiness alike. It emphasizes logical bend of mind than emotional. The perfect balance of mind and the heart is the way forward to be wise. So lets try and sharpen our wisdom teeth, shall we?

Other's Idea can’t change your life.

I am sure not a single day passes without you listening to people advising you on one thing or the other. The advices may range from carrier to behavior, from romance to dressing sense, from attitude to hairstyle, from the kind of men/women you should go after to the brands you should buy. The list goes on with myriad advices.

But are these advices are of any use? Don’t we seek advice with a yearning of accomplice? As a matter of fact, people mostly seek advice when they already know the answer but wish they didn’t. It’s true that you can always learn from other’s mistakes rather than making all of those yourself, but the learning is often so situational and relative that they are hardly applicable anywhere else.

It’s always more easy to advise others than to follow them yourselves. As Jughead articulated once “Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway”. Moreover, if the advice is going to end up framed on a wall, it’s better to use your own mind for a change. Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. But then, not all advices are superfluous and useless. As H.W. Smith puts it “The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right”.

Therefore, the best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice.

MistAches in My Life

My day was pretty much the same, rather hectic as I was busy arranging things for upcoming college functions. Loads of chatter, calls, bills, strategy, ideas and people were passing by simultaneously.  A chill, gusty and fresh morning of November made the job look like a picnic. Amongst the hustle bustle of the day, came two phone calls which are pretty much the parents of this post.

The First Call

It was from a very close friend whom I haven’t met in a while but kept in touch over the phone. He called to share the ultimate good news (and bad news at the same time) a bachelor can share. He was getting married shortly. Quite sentimental as he was when we were together, he sounded content and thrilled at the same time. I am sure he will be an admirable husband. The call, however, took me back in time and I was happy he was clear in his thoughts this time and felt the fresh lease of his life ahead.

The Second Call

The second call was from an even closer friend with whom I had no contact for the last few years. It was totally unexpected yet pleasant to hear from her. Her voice reminded me of the same innocence and truthfulness she possessed back then. She tried to be as formal as possible even when I became the same old friends we were. I know when she does that; when she is apprehensive. But what was she apprehensive about? I can tell, but that’s not the point. A hum of poignancy plagued her words even though she tried her best to avoid it. May be she is finding things complicated around her, may be she had a bad hair day. I can’t tell neither help this time. I hope everything turns out just fine.

The Final Call

The calls ended but the hustle continued. My interest, though, suffered a setback. The world seemed not so small after all. There are distances and the one of hearts is longer from those of lands. You are more likely to face the usual sunshine than the bright faces of your best friends in joy. You may not even have the time to shed tears over your own misfortune to share some of your friend’s. It hurts, coming close to people only to part ways and never look back. I want to fish out of all the people I love and I don’t want them to disappear in the mist this time.